Have you ever stopped and thought about what you were taught as a child?  Were you taught to love or hate?  Perhaps you have children of your own now.  Have you asked yourself, “What am I actually teaching my children?” Recently something happened that caused me to begin thinking about many ways we were taught and how we have taught other children.

Little boys are told: “Boys don’t cry!”  “Boys don’t play with dolls or animal dolls.”  “Boys must be tough and strong.”  Nowadays we see multitudes of very young boys being taught to shoot guns, throw grenades or commit suicide.  They are being taught that it is right to destroy other people in whatever way is necessary. Boys are especially being taught to not respect or have any regard towards WOMAN.  He is taught that she is of lesser importance and is only for his use.  In many families the boy is honored and not disciplined because he is the son.

At the same time, girls are taught to believe such lies that they were only born for the man to use and abuse.  In the homes the young girl is made to wait on her brother because he is the son.  It is instilled into her mind from a very early age that her life is not the most important in the family, but is actually secondary or less.

As I was doing research on the abuse of women, I thought I had heard most possible methods of abuse.  I was very surprised when  I read the words, “Ironing breasts.”  When I saw that, I was stunned wondering what in the world it could possibly mean.  The greater shock was when I began reading the articles about it and realized the mothers were responsible for this abuse.  The mothers decided the only way to protect their daughters from being raped at very young ages, was to iron or beat their daughters’ newly forming breasts.    Mothers take large stones, heat them, and then use them on their daughters’ breasts.   You might ask why would a mother be so violent?  It is to keep the girls’ breasts from maturing.  The physical and psychological damage must be endless.  Is such abuse the real answer to prevent another kind of abuse (rape)?  Doesn’t this abuse cause the young girl to hate her mother instead of hating a young man?  Either way, she has been abused and now filled with hate.

It is very easy to close our minds and thoughts to all of the abuse that is happening in the world today, but our denial or ignoring these matters only feeds the “fire-of-abuse”.  Our lack of knowledge plays into the hands of the abusers.  I have often wondered what I could possibly do, being only one person.  I have begun to realize that I must be a vessel of love and not hate.  I must not only love, but share my love with those who are hurting. 

Once I was sitting in the middle of a large church property in India, surrounded from a distance by many children, some with marks of abuse.  I sat there thinking about my two grandchildren who had been moved to the USA six months earlier.  I wanted to cry because I missed my little ones so very much.  Just then the Lord spoke to me, “Sharon, look at all of these children.  They have NEVER had one of those hugs that you have given to your granddaughters hundreds of times.”  Just then I motioned for a couple of the girls to come to me.  I put my arms around them and hugged them.  They were so surprised and I don’t think they stopped smiling that night. 

Have you ever wondered why men are so abusive towards women?  Abuse has become an accepted way of life in many nations.  Recently we had a home-stay family staying with us.  The father divorced the mother several years ago, and the two boys have grown up with a very hard working mother and no male influence.  She has been very strict on the boys attempting to make them be like boys.  She has not allowed them to have any kind of animals to hug, but to be boys.  She has worried about them not having the male influence to help them become a man.  The mother and younger son slept in our guest room where there are quite a few Snoopy dogs.  One day she told me that he had really hugged one of those Snoopy dolls.   I wanted to give him his choice to take home, but he said, “No, thank you.  I don’t have anything like that in my house, so I don’t need it.”  

His face told me he wanted it, but that he MUST BE a boy.  The thinking is that boys don’t hug anything, or they will appear weak.  Do you wonder why men don’t hug and aren’t more sensitive in their feelings toward others?  Does a boy hugging something make them a sissy?   I believe that it helps them to begin to love and express their love to something so simple as a teddy bear.  It is so interesting how the Bible says that man is to love and cherish his wife, but how is he actually taught to be loving to others?  When and how does that happen?  He is taught to go hunting, play sports, fight and do many kinds of activities to make him more masculine.  Aren’t all of those things teaching him to focus only on himself, to become great, to always win, to get what he wants, which is then transferred into the attitude he has towards WOMAN?

While thinking about all of this, I began thinking about the creation of MAN.  The Bible says that God created man in His own image, which means God is triune and thus mankind is three part (spirit, soul and body).  The Bible also says that GOD IS LOVE.  (1 John 4:8).  Since God created man in His own image, does it not mean man is to be a creature of love?  God created sex, but His love towards us is not speaking about the sexual love.  His love forgives and cares.  If a boy is taught fighting and winning all of the time, how can he be caring when he must get what he wants?  When a boy watches his father beat and abuse his mother and sister, he learns the same conduct and will most likely do much worse.

            In these Last Days each WOMAN needs to realize her ability to teach and train the “heart, mind and hands” of her son(s) and her daughter(s).  We cannot change what has already been done in families, but we must recognize and know that you and I can begin to make a difference.  A mother will always be “mother” in the heart of her son.  There may be a period of time that he forsakes her or abuses her, but just know that his heart is attached to her heart.  Mother is the one who nurtured his tiny fetus and caused it to grow deep inside her.  Mother is the one who gave herself for him to have life.  She must not accept the lies that she is no good.  She must know that if it weren’t for her, he would not be alive.

If only each mother could begin to realize her importance in life, oh how this world would begin to turn around.  There is strength and power inside of you that you don’t realize.  If it were not for WOMAN, there would be no more men.  Women are being abused, killed and tortured in ways that you and I can’t imagine.  It is not only in certain areas of the world, but it is in every country.  In the richest or poorest nations, to use and abuse WOMAN seems to be the accepted way of life.

One thing that is very sure, God knows all things.  We may ask why hasn’t He stopped the abuse and why hasn’t He helped different girls and women.  I only know that God truly does love WOMAN.  He has not rejected WOMAN nor abused WOMAN.   He created WOMAN very special and Jesus has always treated WOMAN respectively and with much honor.  Jesus did many miracles for WOMAN.  God chose a WOMAN to entrust with His Son’s birth into this world.  God loved the world and sent His Son.  Jesus loved us so much that He suffered and died on the cross for us to be reconciled to God.

In several countries there is now a WOMAN serving as President or Prime Minister.  WOMAN is rising into many high positions, yet the abuse and murder of WOMAN seems to be rapidly increasing.  As I have looked in the faces of abused women, besides my heart hurting for them, I have kept feeling the “strength and ability” that is lying deep inside WOMAN.  Abuse of WOMAN is for the purpose to destroy any strength, hope, love, and abilities in her.  Most times, animals are given much better treatment than WOMAN.  BUT God made WOMAN.  He didn’t make any mistake.  After God created the WOMAN, the Bible says, “And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”  He didn’t make anything halfway, but He made everything very good. 

It does not matter what your abuser says about you, you were wonderfully and fearfully made by God, thus you are very good!  You must believe that about yourself.  Then and only then can you begin to mend step by step.  You must realize that accusations are only to make you believe that you are wrong and have only done wrong.  You may or may not have done anything.  Accusers and abusers are usually very violent because they are the guiltiest, so they are trying to put their guilt on you.

Your being born WOMAN was not a curse, but it was wonderful.  You have such ability and talents placed within you.  You have the ability to love or hate.  Most of all, you have the ability to teach others how to love or hate.  What a responsibility!  Considering the strength within WOMAN, what would happen if one WOMAN in each nation began to love and care with the purpose of it spreading to others?  There are a number of women loving and caring in many organizations.  Somehow I feel there is an undercurrent of the strength of WOMAN’S heart that can begin a tsunami of the real kind of love that heals broken hearts and helps the abused. 

Believe it or not, LOVE is much more powerful than hate.  HATE only has guns, weapons, abuse, vulgar accusations, physical, mental, and emotional abuse to use.    LOVE must just be given, in order to penetrate the depths of people, families, communities, nations and the world.  Is it really possible?  Ask yourself, “Do I feel love or hate inside me?”  If you feel hate, then try to remember where it came from.  Next you have to make the decision to forgive the person who was responsible for you feeling that hate.  If you cannot forgive, then you cannot truly love, because love and hate don’t mix.  That could be the starting point for LOVE to begin to roll from one person to another.  LOVE or HATE?  That is your decision.

                                                                                                                                                                        sDc